Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
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My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize