y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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