My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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