It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize