He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize