i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize