My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
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He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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