oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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