i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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