Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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