now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You were trust falling into bushes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize