1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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