i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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