I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize