Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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