i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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