therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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