Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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