From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize