come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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