I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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