She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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