Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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