I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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