is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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