Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize