More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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