my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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