Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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