I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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