just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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