Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize