if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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