Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize