Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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