I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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