Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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