We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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