Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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