ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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