as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Everclear isn't food dammit
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize