i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
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while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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