I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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