he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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