So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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