So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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