The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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