He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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