After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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