just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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